How to Survive on A Farm (Tips from someone who knows nothing about it). Part 5: What You Should Know About Your Mobile Phone

Today I bought my first touch screen mobile phone. That's right, I have finally joined the 21st century and acquired an Apple iPhone. And I know it might sound silly, but I am just giggly with excitement about this!

Ten years ago, when I first moved 'out west', I bought with me my Dad's old Nokia. A big ol' chunky piece of hardware that ensured I could stay in touch with the city whenever I wanted. That was until it got stolen out of my hand bag at a school function several months later. I am grateful that it wasn't my wallet or camera that went 'missing', but still, the feeling of having something taken from you really bites the big one. And it sucks even more that I knew who took it but couldn't prove it. I asked my year 10 class at the time about the possibility of a 'reward' if anyone 'found' my phone. Sure enough, the next day I was told that it had been 'found' - on the side of the road. ANNNDDDDDD.... it would be returned for $5 less than what it would cost me to replace the whole phone. Several words still run through my head when I think about how this made me feel... none of them printable. And once the phone was back in my hands I notified the police. And nothing was ever done about it anyway. I learned my lesson.

My next phone was another (more moedern) Nokia. The height of mobile fashion. (Ie: It folded in half). This phone was standard. It saw me through the next few years until CP and I were married and needed a new one.

CP has 'farmers fingers' - that basically translates to mean that they are too wide to be able to manouvre their way around any mobile phone due to the close proximity of the numbers on the handpiece. Apparently this is quite a natural phenomenen. So the solution to this problem was for Telstra to commission the 'Farmers Phone'. The numbers are nice and round, spread further apart than most other phones on the market, and as such, the entire phone could easily fill a woman's hand bag, or small family car! This is not a joke. (See phone below). The other selling point on this monstrosity is that they apparently have the best reception for the area we live in (and many other rural areas) - presumably because of the oversized antenna at the top. Charlie insisted this would be the better phone for us given that we lived in such an isolated area. And since his father also had the same phone, it seemed kind of logical. I didn't argue. My arguments would have been based on fairly materialistic points of view, so it really wasn't worth it.

When we first purchased this farmers phone, the shop assistant (very accurately reading my frantic facial expressions at even the sight of the phone) insisted that several other models would also have decent mobile reception at our property. We checked on the map on the computer screen. Green meant 'yes - you have reception here', and red meant 'sorry, it will cost us too much money to provide you with a mobile network there'. And guess what? Our place was a sea of red. Surrounded by an abundance of green. I kid you not when I say that our property is one of the few places in our district with limited mobile phone reception. But according to the sales assistant, it wasn't all bad. If we spent a few more hundred dollars, we would be able to buy a compatible car kit, which would ensure mobile reception in even more areas. And since surely only a farmer would be silly enough to buy this scary monster, they must be going to sit on this phone all day as they drive around inspecting fence lines and whatever else it is that farmers actually do. Or not.

And so we did spend the extra. And now I am the proud owner of 2 oversized antennas. One on the phone, and one on the car.

I try not to get too caught up in the whole "keeping up with the Jones'" thing, but I have to be honest. You can only go to so many family functions, dinners, gatherings etc. before you start to feel like you are still in the stone age as far as your phone is concerned. And this farmers phone was seriously letting the team down. And by team, I mean ME.

The classic was at a gathering of friends recently, in the city. Everybody laid their iPhones and Blackberry's out on the bar as we walked in. I thought immediately about hiding my phone in my bag, but then changed my mind and placed it on the bar with all the others. This was initially met with looks of pity and sadness, and eventually (after a few drinks) with high pitched shrieks and peels of laughter. (Mostly from my brother). And I can honestly say, it didn't really bother me... okay maybe just a little. But really, what good would one of those fancy touch pad phones be out on a property like ours?

And then the myth was busted. Twice. I was almost jumping out of my skin, when the first farmers phone died on us. The second phone death was just a nuisance. And by this stage we were up to our third farmers phone (all manufacturing faults). And this isn't a phone company bagging session, but lets just leave it at the fact that I had had a gut full of our farmers phone by this point. The first myth busting event occured during my sisters visit to our farm. Her partner had reception on his iPhone at our front door. *Gasp* The second myth busting moment occured when my neighbour proudly declared that she also had reception on her iPhone at our front door (or near enough). *Double Gasp*

Several weeks ago, farmers phone number 3 started playing up too. I was flat out refusing to go back and punish myself again with that model. But hubby is kind of insisting - and I just can't be bothered arguing about it. The facts are:
- It doesn't matter what phone you have, reception is just reception out here.
- The farmers phone DOES suit people with larger fingers better.
- I use the phone 95% of the time
- I use the phone when I go to town and the city. Places that have no problem with mobile phone reception.

Armed with these facts, I decided to buy my very own iPhone on this particular trip to the city. (See below).

I've gotta say. It is love at first sight. Life as I know it has changed for me. Sort of.

So what have I learned throughout all of this? I was right all along? No - too blunt. I should have done this years ago? No - too reflective. Maybe, NEVER (repeat NEVER) let your Farmer husband try to talk you into anything when it comes to mobile phones. Yes - warm. Trust your instinct. Uh huh - warmer. You probably know more about it than him anyway. Yes - boiling! I think that's exactly right. Farmer's know loads about farming... and not a lot about phones. At least my farmer anyway. Oh and on a bright note. For those of you who read all my blogs, and knew that CP missed the birth of his eldest daughter because he didn't have a mobile phone on him at the time. CP is going to keep the Farmers phone, and I'll be keeping my iPhone. So it looks like everyone has kicked a goal around here tonight I think!