Farmers and Pregnancy Slang

There are loads of great blogs around on 'Farmer Slang'. My personal favourite is the one written by Bessie at Burragan. If you haven't already read it, I strongly encourage you to do so. Be prepared for lots of nose snorts and laughing out loud! This one strongly pertains to farmers and pregnancy.

There's something really interesting about men who are raised on a farm, or live on a farm, or just understand farms. They speak in farming terms, and there have been times when The Farmer speaks to me that I've actually had to stop what I'm doing, think about what was just said, process it, and then move on. Farmer speak is still relatively new to me.

So imagine my amusement this week when (after a discussion about how I had lost some weight) The Farmer said "I was like a run out yak from the north who is lucky to have found such a high quality bull to sire my children." He was, of course, trying to be funny. But he's still lucky I didn't lean across the table and clip him over the head for the analogy! Or even better, (as one lady pointed out to me), he's lucky I didn't transform him from a bull into a steer!

When I was pregnant the Farmer used to tell people that I was 'in calf', and much later in the pregnancy I was 'heavily in calf'. He also told them that he wasn't sure if we were expecting a heifer or a bull! I've even heard of women who were told they 'swaggered like a dairy cow' when they were pregnant! Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was reminded that the 'calf pullers' were on standby. The Farmer seemed happy to be a 'proven sire'.

When I actually went into labour, The Farmer thought the birth suite was like an abattoir (only much more sterile). He was not perturbed by labour at all, and referred to on a number of occasions as being very similar to the birth of a calf! The 'mess' didn't bother him at all, as he has butchered many beasts for meat in the past.

The Farmer called his parents to tell them there was 'one on the ground' after the birth of one of our children, and then the references about being a Jersey cow, heifer, old milker, old milking cow and breeder cow. My breasts are like 'udders', and our kids are '05 drops' or '07 drops etc. after the year they were born. As our babies grew, it became clear that they were 'in a good paddock' and eventually the children became our 'weiners'.

Honest to goodness, these men aren't being rude, or trying to insult women. Animals are what they know and understand. By using farming analogies, these men believe that they will avoid offending us by using 'generic farm terms', when in fact that's exactly what they often, unintentionally, end up doing. And actually, none of it bothers me at all. These men aren't being offensive. They are bringing something they understand to something that they don't. And really, you've got to laugh!