Easy Fried Rice

EASY FRIED RICE

 

 INGREDIENTS

1. 3 cups of previously prepared cooked rice. Best left overnight or can still use immediately (like I did). I used medium grain rice but honestly, just use whatever....

2. 2 tbsp sesame oil. You can probably substitute it, but I like the taste in fried rice.

3. 1 onion.

4. 1 cup of peas and carrots. Or add capsicum or whatever you like.

5. 3 tbsp soy sauce or more or less to taste. I actually use more.

6. 2 eggs lightly beaten.

7. Shallots. (To taste).

8. Bacon (as much as you like to add).

You can also add chicken or prawns or whatever to this as well.

METHOD

1. Heat wok or pan with oil and add chopped onion and bacon and cook until tender. Add veges and cook until they are tender too.

2. I move the veges and bacon mix to one side and make an egg omelette on the other side of the pan. Then I cut it into strips and mix the egg with the other bacon and veges I previously cooked.

3. Then I add the rice and soy sauce and shallots (and any other extras you would add now). Stir and fry until ready.

Enjoy!

This is a super easy recipe and a great way to use left over rice and other ingredients as well.

Season for Celebrations!

It’s The Celebration Season!

It’s November! And hallelujah, because the birthday season is upon us here on the farm. And by us, I mean Mr 7 and myself. So I suppose it’s not really a ‘birthday season’ as such, but rather a busy time of year where all sorts of celebrations are upon us, and as such, I occasionally feel like my birthday celebrations drag out for a few weeks at a time.

Last week was Halloween. We don’t celebrate it here on the farm, mostly because the logistics of it are a nightmare unto themselves. The scariest part of trick or treating would be the good hour or more spent driving around in the pathetic bid to trap the nearest five unsuspecting families into handing over their goodies. And given where we live, I’m assuming by ‘goodies’ we would be receiving scones or biscuits left in waiting for uninvited guests. And the cost of fuel itself would actually be the most horrific part of this freakish event. Instead we headed to a Halloween themed Disco for the kids. Much less scary for mummy.

This week Mr 6 turned 7. I pride myself on making my children birthday cakes that are fun and interesting. This is a tradition passed onto me from my own mother. This year there was a request for an ‘army’ themed ‘camouflage cake’.

The finished product!

 

After the original one stuck to the pan it was so camouflaged it didn’t even look like a cake. It didn’t stop me though. The second attempt was much better, and now we have a camouflaged cake AND trifle.

This week was also the Melbourne Cup. I was working, though my colleagues still managed to put on quite a lunch, and we all dressed up which is always fun!

Next week it’s my birthday. The Farmer isn’t big on birthdays, and that hasn’t really stopped me from celebrating in the past, but this year it doesn’t matter. Next week we are heading to the city to see a concert with some friends, so it’s a win-win for everyone.

After that it seems that the end of year celebrations all start to kick off with a vengeance. Work break up parties, club events, school presentations and *gasp* Christmas gatherings all start to snowball.

I do love a good celebration though. Any excuse will do. I’m off to dust off my heels and straighten out my party frocks.

What events do you have on the horizon? Let me know on facebook!

Country Adventure an Eye Opener for Boarders

A Country Adventure

 

Recently we had a group of students from a Brisbane Boarding School come to visit. Every year my mother (who is Head of Boarding) brings a group out to give them something of a country adventure. They stay in our shearer’s quarters, which are comfortable, but certainly not 5-star.

Some of the girls live on properties themselves, and appreciate the visit to somebody else’s place. For them it is a comparative experience.

“Our place hasn’t had rain for four years, so your place looks greener.”

“Our shearing quarters are a bit different to yours.”

“We have wheat at our place.”

Some of the girls are city girls who have never visited the country and are keen to see what it is all about. They’ve heard snippets from their friends and are eager to see it for themselves.

And some of the girls are international students who are about to have their minds blown. The size, the landscape (flat and desolate), the animals, the heat, the flies…

“Are you having fun Sarah?”

“I think so.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s amazing! But there are so many flies…”

And then finally, “This is so much fun! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

This year the girls were able to visit a farm that was harvesting wheat. They were able to go on a ride on a Header, and learn all about wheat production. At our place I showed them through the shearing shed. I explained how it all happens and what it looks, sounds and smells like when the shearers are in full swing. We talked about shearers, and contractors and Merino sheep. Most girls began to understand the process of something they didn’t even know existed until their visit out here.

We also took them to Lightning Ridge, an opal mining town only a few hours drive from home. They learned about opal mining, met some interesting characters and even saw the water park (an amazing place to visit in the summer that was entirely funded by the people of Lightning Ridge themselves).

They saw the small school that my own children attend, and it is only after the first day or so that you can see the pieces all fitting together in their minds. There is a whole world out there that is completely different to the ones they may come from. They are frightened, intrigued and ultimately mesmerised by the country, including the most hardened of students.

 

Even without an internet connection, air conditioning and unlimited access to water, they ALL still managed to have an incredible experience. It is a combination of the people, the animals, the knowledge and the landscapes that make this such a memorable trip for these girls. It’s such a wonderful opportunity, and I’m both excited and proud to be a part of the experience.

NEVER FAIL SCONES

This is the edited version of my Never Fail Scones recipe.

I posted a simple recipe but after it went viral, I figured this version was necessary given the large variety of people who wanted to use it. x Very tongue-in-cheek!

THE EDITED VERSION OF MY NEVER FAIL SCONES

 

(and by never fail, I mean, depending on where you're from, what ingredients you use, how heavy handed you are or how hot your oven is - they STILL may fail scones). Also these are called Biscuits in the USA.

Note: Originally intended for Australian audiences, these have taken the world by storm. And after reading through thousands upon thousands of comments, here is the amended version.

INGREDIENTS

4 cups self raising flour. Also known as all purpose flour in some parts, as long as you add a dash of baking soda per cup. No need to sift, but do it if it makes you happy. I have no idea if it works with gluten free flour, or you can substitute flour with chia seeds or whatever else you want to substitute it with. Also, some people have said 3 cups. And aside from telling you that a cup =250ml I can't really help you. So do what pleases you. Beyond that I really can't help you.

300ml of thickened cream. Again, in some parts of the world this is single cream. A simple google search told me that. I have no idea if it's exactly the same as thickened cream though. Also, I have posted a 600ml bottle in the picture. I measured out 300ml. I'm clever like that. Other people don't use cream. They use milk and butter - the traditional way - and have no troubles, unlike me. I don't know what you would substitute it for if you were allergic to dairy. And I don't know what quark is sorry, but I'm sure fromage frais would be fine. Maybe.

1 can lemonade. In Australia a can is 375ml. Again, I measured it out of a bigger bottle (that's all I had at home). To be honest, I probably used closer to 300ml, but it really doesn't matter. In the USA, lemonade is more like 7UP. It's a fizzy drink. I think the fizz helps keep it airy and light, but as I'm a home cook and not a food technologist, I can't be certain. Some people use coca cola, creaming soda or soda water. Add whatever you like. I just showed you what I use.

You can also add sultanas, dates or anything else. Play with the recipe, and read through the comments to see if anyone else has some good suggestions.

METHOD

Preheat oven to a moderate temp. I set my fan forced gas oven to 180 degrees c. Not sure what that is in America.

1. Place flour into a bowl and make a well.

2. Add cream and lemonade to the well. Mix until combined. Don't mix too much as a heavy hand will make your scones rock hard. Don't knead. The less handling the better. Just look at it and will it to mix if you can. That hasn't worked out for me yet though.

3. Press dough out with your hands. If it's too sticky, add a little more flour. Keep it thick enough that it's about the height of a scone cutter. If you don't have a scone cutter, a champagne glass is fine. Or cut into squares.

4. Place into a baking tray. Place close but not too close to other scones. Perhaps the sides on the tray will help it rise higher. I don't know. Get a food brush and dip it in milk and brush the tops of the scones. This helps it brown nicely. Other people use eggs, so do what makes you happy.

5. Bake in an oven that is already hot (apparently this is super important) until slightly browned on top. It could be between 10-30 minutes. Apparently.

6. When you remove from oven you could rub some butter over the top for extra shine, but they are yummiest warm.

Also... I have no idea how this became a post on Baloney or Devon. I won't be translating it to Dutch (google translate can do that). This is a recipe I use. Take it or leave it. Play with it at home. Do what you want to do. This is just one way to do it.

Finally serve with whatever pleases you. Apparently there are variations on traditional serving options. I like mine with jam then cream. But since no one has ever been arrested for doing it the other way around, knock your socks off!

Some of you will love this. Others (even though your mother recommended it) still won't like it. That's okay. It's really not for everyone.

ENJOY! (Or don't, whatever).

Acre Chasing...

The Acre Chaser

Barbara Walters did an interview with Amal Clooney some time ago. I remember the interview because she is – according to Ms Walters – a very interesting person. After watching the interview I wondered if Ms Walters thought she was interesting because she is a celebrated Human Rights Lawyer who has done amazing work for the UN, and speaks three languages fluently, or if it is because she managed to bag herself the world’s most famous bachelor? Barbara Walters stops short of calling her a gold-digger, but does make suitable reference to her ‘man-snagging abilities’. And I sympathise with Amal. I’ve been called (or inferred as being) an acre chaser or a hectare hunter. Over the course of my life with The Farmer, I’ve been called it all (but thankfully not in a LONG time however).

When I first came out here (for my three year stint as a teacher) I didn’t even want to stay forever. I had no concept of farming at all. I thought that farms were twenty acre blocks (like those that I grew up on) where you had a handful of sheep and or cattle and maybe a few small garden patches. I know it sounds completely ignorant, but I seriously had no concept at all of what farming entailed.

Once I figured out that farming was somewhat more large scale than I first anticipated, I was a little overwhelmed. To think that such a small number of people were responsible for producing such a large amount of quality product is initially hard to get your head around. And then trying to comprehend that farmers do this at the mercy of the weather was a double whammy. It was a steep learning curve and I wasn’t initially sure I was up to sticking around to learn more about it.

This part of the world isn’t for everyone, and becoming a Farmer’s Wife also isn’t for everyone. It can be a tough road, and only the toughest women will see it through until the end. A wise woman (a friendly nod to The Farmer’s grandmother) once told me that. She is certainly correct.

I understand the wall of resistance that can go up against newcomers, and especially newcomers not from a rural background. The wall comes from wanting to protect those around you who have worked so hard for what they have, and what they produce; especially from people who don’t understand all the effort behind it all. I get it. I am protective of that ideal as well.

I don’t profess to being an ‘Amal Clooney’ by any means. I do speak two languages, and I like to think that as a teacher, I do my own fair share of influencing people’s lives. Hopefully people see more to me than my ‘man-snagging abilities’ as well. I am also very tough, and fourteen years into my journey, I still feel like I am in here for the long haul. My eyes have been opened and I’m certainly up for the challenge.

 

Social Media Etiquette - and a scone recipe...

Social Media Etiquette

This week has been hectic. Aside from working in town every day, writing, and trying to keep my house tidy with three kids and a husband home all week (in anticipation of visitors this weekend) I felt like something was about to give. Not wanting to neglect my Farmer’s Wife Facebook page, I threw together a quick ‘scone recipe’ post to keep things ticking over until I could come back and spend real time on the page. I’m sure many of you will have seen it.

I checked in on it the next morning to realise it had gone a little ‘viral’. (For those not in the know, ‘viral’ is what happens when suddenly every man and his dog is interested in whatever you have put online). Apparently the whole world was hungry and wanted scones last week.

I didn’t realise at the time, that with great audience engagement comes great responsibility. I had people throwing their questions at me left, right and centre in the hope that I am some Western Queensland Martha Stewart who might be able to resolve a multitude of scone related concerns.

“Hi Farmer’s Wife, could you substitute the cream for quark or fat free fromage frais?”

“Just wondering if my son is anaphylactic to dairy, could I use anything other than cream?”

“What is self-raising flour called in America?”

“Could you please translate the recipe into Dutch?”

There were literally thousands of requests, many of which I was unable to answer personally. Instead, I have compiled a list of ways that you can be useful when responding to a recipe doing the social media rounds.

1.      Take it or leave it. If you like the recipe and can use it then that’s great. However if you have allergies, don’t like one of the ingredients or aren’t an experimenter in the kitchen, then back away from the recipe and please leave quietly. I was called the worst names under the sun on this post. The internet can be a cruel and nasty place at times, so try to be nice.

2.      Use Google before you ask anything. Google can tell you pretty much anything you need to know. If that fails, feel free to ask, but be aware that unless you tag the writer in the post, it may get caught up and lost amongst thousands of other comments. Read through all the questions before you ask in case someone else has already asked. If you do have to ask a random ‘help’ question, there is every conceivable chance that someone on that page will have the answer, even if Google doesn’t. In my case, if Google can’t help then I probably can’t either… however…

3.      If you are commenting in a positive way, eg: ‘I like to add a cup of sultanas to my scone mixture’ or ‘My mother used to make these but she used to add a pinch of baking soda’ etc. that’s wonderful. And sometimes a big help. Because while I don’t know what ‘quark’ is (I could Google it!) someone else may be able to help. Which leads me to…

4.      Feel free to answer any questions you see other people post, especially if you know you can help. It’s a big help to me, and that’s what makes the internet wonderful; other people sharing and caring.

5.      Be kind. Enough said.

On the whole, the ‘scone recipe’ was the best thing to happen to my page. Most people have been supportive and positive. I have so many new visitors there as well. Also, thanks to everyone who has stopped by to say hello. I am so incredibly grateful.

If you want to see the scone recipe for yourself, you can find me on Facebook.

 

 

 

THE EDITED VERSION OF MY NEVER FAIL SCONES (and by never fail, I mean, depending on where you're from, what ingredients you use, how heavy handed you are or how hot your oven is - they STILL may fail scones). Also these are called Biscuits in the USA.

Note: Originally intended for Australian audiences, these have taken the world by storm. And after reading through thousands upon thousands of comments, here is the amended version.

INGREDIENTS

4 cups self raising flour. Also known as all purpose flour in some parts, as long as you add a dash of baking soda per cup. No need to sift, but do it if it makes you happy. I have no idea if it works with gluten free flour, or you can substitute flour with chia seeds or whatever else you want to substitute it with. Also, some people have said 3 cups. And aside from telling you that a cup =250ml I can't really help you. So do what pleases you. Beyond that I really can't help you.

300ml of thickened cream. Again, in some parts of the world this is single cream. A simple google search told me that. I have no idea if it's exactly the same as thickened cream though. Also, I have posted a 600ml bottle in the picture. I measured out 300ml. I'm clever like that. Other people don't use cream. They use milk and butter - the traditional way - and have no troubles, unlike me. I don't know what you would substitute it for if you were allergic to dairy. And I don't know what quark is sorry, but I'm sure fromage frais would be fine. Maybe.

1 can lemonade. In Australia a can is 375ml. Again, I measured it out of a bigger bottle (that's all I had at home). To be honest, I probably used closer to 300ml, but it really doesn't matter. In the USA, lemonade is more like 7UP. It's a fizzy drink. I think the fizz helps keep it airy and light, but as I'm a home cook and not a food technologist, I can't be certain. Some people use coca cola, creaming soda or soda water. Add whatever you like. I just showed you what I use.

You can also add sultanas, dates or anything else. Play with the recipe, and read through the comments to see if anyone else has some good suggestions.

METHOD

Preheat oven to a moderate temp. I set my fan forced gas oven to 180 degrees c. Not sure what that is in America.

1. Place flour into a bowl and make a well.

2. Add cream and lemonade to the well. Mix until combined. Don't mix too much as a heavy hand will make your scones rock hard. Don't knead. The less handling the better. Just look at it and will it to mix if you can. That hasn't worked out for me yet though.

3. Press dough out with your hands. If it's too sticky, add a little more flour. Keep it thick enough that it's about the height of a scone cutter. If you don't have a scone cutter, a champagne glass is fine. Or cut into squares.

4. Place into a baking tray. Place close but not too close to other scones. Perhaps the sides on the tray will help it rise higher. I don't know. Get a food brush and dip it in milk and brush the tops of the scones. This helps it brown nicely. Other people use eggs, so do what makes you happy.

5. Bake in an oven that is already hot (apparently this is super important) until slightly browned on top. It could be between 10-30 minutes. Apparently.

6. When you remove from oven you could rub some butter over the top for extra shine, but they are yummiest warm.

Also... I have no idea how this became a post on Baloney or Devon. I won't be translating it to Dutch (google translate can do that). This is a recipe I use. Take it or leave it. Play with it at home. Do what you want to do. This is just one way to do it.

Finally serve with whatever pleases you. Apparently there are variations on traditional serving options. I like mine with jam then cream. But since no one has ever been arrested for doing it the other way around, knock your socks off!

Some of you will love this. Others (even though your mother recommended it) still won't like it. That's okay. It's really not for everyone.

ENJOY! (Or don't, whatever).

 

Data Drought

The Data Drought

Whilst many Queenslanders are familiar with the ongoing and heart breaking drought affecting our beautiful state, far fewer are familiar with the ‘data drought’ taking its toll on rural, regional and remote areas across Australia as well. With twelve days still remaining on our monthly home internet plan, we had already used up the lion’s share as a result of three children (all with i-Devices) being at home for an extended period of time and trying to quench their ‘youtube’ thirst. I was keen to escape our house and conserve what precious download was still remaining.

We made it to the big smoke and managed to complete most of our jobs in just a few days. Whilst we are on holidays, this ‘job list’ also includes internet banking, any online applications we need completed as well as incidentals, like emailing off this column. Basically anything that will reduce the load on our meagre internet at home. By logging in to a family member’s abundant internet download plan, we can complete most jobs in a matter of minutes. The same jobs taking us far longer on our own computers, if they can even be completed at all.

This last weekend we were out with friends as a piece on the ‘Data Drought’ aired on television. Thankfully we were able to watch it afterwards online at my mother’s house (a task that would have been impossible at our home during waking hours). Times are tough in the data drought. Imagine opening the QCL shopping guide and being lured by all the amazing gear, and not being able to access the websites because The Farmer had to do the BAS online? That’s our reality. I actually PREFER shopping in store at the moment. And that’s a big call for me to make!

To be fair, it’s not just net banking and emailing that chews through my precious download. I use social media to promote my Farmer’s Wife page, as well as to keep in contact with friends and family who live so far away from me. None of that helps with my poor internet connection either. Many of my friends rely on the internet to conduct their businesses (both off-farm and farm related), or even to educate their children. This is becoming more and more challenging, and at times even impossible. Frustration is building, with many people even leaving the bush in desperation. I’m not there, but my heart breaks for those who are.

It’s not all doom and gloom. The new NBN satellite has been launched successfully. With any luck, rural, regional and remote Australia should be back to normal at least in the next few years. (I really should look at inventing a ‘sarcasm font’). Until then, I’ll continue doing as much internet business as I can when I’m in town… and thank my lucky starts that my kids (who don’t rely on the internet for their education) would rather be outside in the pool that on an i-Device anyway.

Are you suffering through a data drought? Find BIRRR on facebook for more information.

 

What Will Help Him In The Big Smoke?

 

5 things every country boy needs in the city

This week we are off to the city with the children. We have a family christening to attend, and even though I would have happily driven down a week ago and made the most of a city get away, The Farmer and I made a happy compromise (after an intense round of ‘paper, scissors, rock’) and agreed to head down later this week. I’ve mentioned before how The Farmer gets nervous when he leaves the farm. He’s always been this way, so I can’t really claim that I never saw this coming.

It got me thinking about what would make the trip to the city easier on a country boy? (Especially for those still in the dating phase of the relationship). Here are some of the things I think would make a country boy’s time in the city a little less painful.

1.      A Go Card for public transport or a reliable taxi company number. Country boys and city driving can often present a set of problems that can easily be fixed by taking public transport whenever possible.

2.      A jacket/shirt/pants with lots of pockets. A great place to store above mentioned tickets, keys, phone, your partner’s makeup, cards, cash, lip gloss, spare hairbands, purse/wallet etc etc.

3.      The name of a recommended good watering hole. (And preferably one where you can get a good feed and a drink). For my Farmer that meant somewhere that sold red meat and cold beer. Also a map detailing locations of key sporting venues and above mentioned watering holes would be useful too.

4.      Town boots. That means ones that don’t have steel caps. Especially if getting to your city destination involves travel on a plane. Also, farm boots aren’t practical at a beach, cinema or numerous other city locations you guys may find your way to.

5.      An exit: the quickest easiest way. The Farmer informs me that every visit to the city needs to be prefaced with an expected departure time, as (presumably) the farm can’t function without him.

A smart phone would probably solve most of these essential item dilemmas, however back in the days of dating The Farmer, that was neither practical or even possible. These days, The Farmer still likes to take the same items to the city with him, and he still doesn’t have a smart phone to help him out either. But we are working on it! And we WILL have fun in the city while we are here regardless.

Did I miss anything?

How Times Have Changed!

How Times Have Changed

It doesn’t matter if you live in the city or in the country, there is always going to be an element of change once you settle down, marry and have kids. And (as I have written about before) I am all about embracing change. In just a few phrases I can neatly summarise how far I have come in that time (that aren’t topics I have already covered in previous pieces).

1. Snakebite:

                      NOW – An actual injury resulting in contact by a reptile with another living creature (presumably a human being) that sends shivers down the spine of all Australians, but especially those of us Australians living in an area inhabited by King Brown snakes.  
                      THEN – a well-priced beverage comprising of a delicious mixture of beer and 
coke that was regularly consumed in a poorly lit bar in the city, usually on Thursday Student Nights.

2. Dancing:   

                      NOW – something I do civilly at either weddings (or as I am cleaning the house). Usually I hope people aren’t watching me, but mostly I know that they aren’t.
                      THEN – something I only ever attempted after consuming multiple snakebites (see above), and usually only ever on a stage or table at above mentioned poorly lit bar.

3. TV Shows I watch:

                      NOW – ABC news, Landline, The Batchelor. Shows that are informative and educational. (And also light relief from the seriousness of other shows often seen on the ABC and SBS – both of which I love).
                      THEN – I honestly didn’t know that the ABC or SBS existed for any other purpose than playing kids shows.

4. Rain:

                      NOW – My whole life revolves around if and when it arrives, and in what amount. It is the life blood of everything in my life. I run outside to check the rain gauge in order to complete our rainfall charts we compile.
                      THEN – The rain only ever affected what outfit I was wearing, and how I would need to do my hair. I used to sit on the verandah and marvel at it during the summer storms when I was at university.

5. Conversations:

                       NOW – Almost all are weather related, or contain a small part involving weather. I can’t recall a single day of my new life where weather conversations don’t play any part at all.
                       THEN – I can’t recall a conversation about the weather where I wasn’t complaining that it was too hot, too cold, too wet etc.


When I think about my city life, I am often amazed at the 180 degrees that I have spun over the last twelve years, and at how well I have adjusted.
Do you have anything you would add to the list? Let us know.

The Many Hats I Wear

I’ve had quite a few people find their way to my website this week just gone. It’s probably a good opportunity to introduce myself in more detail. Mostly I am a mum, wife, teacher who also happens to reside in Western Queensland, but I wear many other hats as well.

Wannabe Writer: Several years ago I started a blog to serve as a kind of journal about my seemingly unique experiences as a city girl making a life in the country. As it turns out, my unique experiences were anything but. There appears to be quite a few of us figuring this whole ‘Farmer’s Wife’ bizzo out. I have been fortunate enough to be able to have many of my musings published, which is not only great for a laugh, but also great for my ego.

P&C Mum: I try to limit my involvement in local community groups to a number just high enough to stress me out moderately, but not enough to send me into a complete state of meltdown. The P&C is one of those groups. I am passionate about my children’s education and find the P&C a welcoming, fairly straight forward commitment. This committee involvement has (at some point or another) also been the Show Society, Kindy Committee and Rodeo. It evolves with our social dynamics.

Soccer Mum: I’m not really a soccer mum. We only have JRL out here, so we spend winter weekends for a few months of the year travelling huge distances to watch our kids have fun kicking a ball around, and I definitely don’t misbehave on the sidelines. When the weather warms up, I swap my hat from JRL mum to swimming mum. The kids pretty much just swap boots and ball for togs and a towel. Same same but different.

Friend and Neighbour: There aren’t too many people out where I live. It pays to get along nicely with the small number of people who surround you. If you run short of bread or milk or barbeque flavoured rice crackers, a good relationship with the people next door is the difference between a 20km round trip, and an 80km round trip. Thankfully I actually really do like my neighbours.

Given all the different hats I wear, you would think that I actually wear a bunch of other (real) hats as well. I don’t wear too many hats. (Or rather, I don’t have a favourite). Incidentally I don’t wear an Akubra. I never have. But I’m definitely considering it, and actually, if I really think about it, it’s the hat I am most looking forward to wearing.

If you have any other questions for me, I’d love to hear from you!

Farmer Speak

Farmer-speak

Last week I spoke about the things my children (and specifically my mini-me) say. As I am writing this piece on Father’s Day I have been thinking about some of the funny things I’ve heard The Farmer (and probably most country folk) say.

1. “Up the road” – This could mean any place between where you are standing at the point of conversation, to some place still in the state (or even interstate if you live close to the border). Eg: “We went to a party up the road on the weekend. We drove for almost a day to get there, but it was definitely worth it.”

2. “A few days ago” – Any time between a few days ago up until approximately a year ago. This is definitely a Farmer favourite. Eg: “Remember I spoke to you about that a few days ago?” “That was like, four months ago.” “Yeah.”

3. “Old mate” – Anyone. Absolutely anyone. Male or female, your guess is as good as mine. This one often leaves me truly stumped.  Eg: “I ran into old mate when I was in town. He said to say hello.”

4. “Later” – Any time between an hour and never. Often refers to jobs that need doing inside the house. There is literally a 50/50 chance or less that ‘later’ will ever actually happen. Eg: “Can you fix the door in the kids bedroom please?” “I’ll do it later.”

5. “She’ll be right” – It’s all good. I have this under control. As much certainty as I’m likely to get out of The Farmer. “Eg: “Do you need a hand tying that tourno down?” “Nah. She’ll be right, mate.”

6. “When it rains” – Any time between here and eternity. Often used to give an estimate on when you will be able to do something. The sad thing is that so much of our lives out here revolve around the weather, and Mother Nature marches to the beat of her own drum. Eg: “We’re hoping to do renovations when it rains.”

People, places and times in the bush are all fluid things. Sometimes it helps to have a bit of an imagination (and a fair grasp of the English language) to understand farmer-speak. Without the assistance of an actual translator, I am thoroughly enjoying the guessing game in the meantime.
Do you have any that you would add to the list? Let us know!

You want me to go where??

‘Change’ affects all of us differently. For some people, changing is like a duck to water. No problems at all. For others change is much more difficult – impossible even. New friends, new job, new routine, new life.

“You’ll love it!” They said about my new job out west.

“So many young people and such a good social life!” They added.

This is all true. But it’s not until you get out of your black synthetic city pants and into a good pair of comfy jeans (literally and metaphorically) that you can fully appreciate it. Embracing change is easier (and happens faster) for some, and it doesn’t happen at all for others.

Rural living had never factored into my future plans. I was an inner city apartment kind of dreamer. I think that’s why I resisted it so much at first. And when I did finally embrace it, there was WAY too much local wine involved and I then spent the following twelve months apologising to everyone who witnessed my abysmal fall from grace. Not an ideal way to kick start your time in a rural community.

After my initial nose dive in small town socialising, I relied more on conversation and less on wine to see me through. It paid off. I made loads of great friends and began to see my time out west for what it was – an opportunity. An opportunity to meet new and interesting people. An opportunity to learn about such a different lifestyle to the one that I had known previously. An opportunity to learn about farming and other lines of work completely out of my comfort zone. As a teacher, I learned phrases that I’d never heard before: “piggin’”, “bull dust”, “lamb marking” and “stick picking” are only a few.

I finally grasped the importance of rural and regional areas on my previously sheltered life. Toowoomba was as far west as I had ever dared to venture. Australia ended there for me until I was sent out west to teach. A whole new world then opened up for me.

Change doesn’t have to be difficult, because (most importantly and in spite of my initial resistance), I also learned that not all farmers are grass chewing, big hat and boot wearing country folk, and even if they are, that might be exactly what you didn’t know you needed. And thankfully I figured that out quickly. It certainly worked in my favour all those years ago!

 

Kidspeak

Kids are funny. Except when they aren’t. I have three, and one is my carbon copy.

‘Luckily’ for Miss 10, she is often reminded that she is my mini-me. When you tell her that she grins from ear to ear, confident that surely that must mean all good things. I often wonder if people are referring to her wonderfully strong will and boisterous exterior, her predisposition to embellish a good story, or simply the fact that Miss 10 is very much the image of me? In any event, I love her just the way she is, and I am sure everyone else does too. She also says some funny things at times and lately I have even wondered about setting up a blog for her to share her exaggerated version of reality – you know, in case we aren’t already alike enough.

 

Liv and I with my gorgeous niece in the middle.

At an after school football practise recently, she embellished a story about how she is left SORROWFUL (her word, not mine) every night because I NEVER (except for every other day) go in to her room to allow her to vent the days’ events. Sorrowful! Can you imagine? And then when the adults all chuckled at her response (or perhaps they were chuckling at the fact that today was MY day to have my worst parenting moments put on display) she continued, “I thought turning ten would be the BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE! It’s been nothing but HARDSHIP! I’ll have to make sure I warn all the nine year olds I know that turning ten is not all that it’s cracked up to be!” Oh the drama! (She assures me that the cruise she just returned from with her Nana is an exception to the rule).

I’ll have to tell Miss 10 that turning 37 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either! I may be more confident in my own skin and happy with where I am in my life, but sometimes the constant demands put on a mum of three young children can suck a whole lot of fun out of a girl. (I can assure you that my recent trip to South America is also an exception to this rule).

Strangely though, I wouldn’t swap my children for anything; even when they are being funny or not being funny at all.

 

 

Spring Has Sprung!

Spring has sprung

I don’t care what the actual dates on the calendar say, I’m telling you Spring is well and truly here. I know this because I woke up a week ago with an itchy throat, red and itchy eyes, a runny nose and uncontrollable sneezing, and put it down to being the aftermath of the EKKA. And then it got worse, and I realised that it wasn’t a cold, it was much, much worse indeed.

For anyone who has never suffered from hay fever, let me tell you that it’s the serious pits! It’s a solid month (at least!) of sneezing and red and itchy eyes and generally frustrating cold-like symptoms. It’s waking up at night and not being able to get any relief at all from the symptoms until you pop another anti-histamine. (Yay for anti-histamines!)

My symptoms worsened after I had children. (There’s something you don’t sign up for when you have kids!) I live on a property loaded with Cyprus Pine. We have one particularly large pine tree out the front of our house, directly in front of my bedroom window. Every year at this time I reach a psychological breaking point and threaten to get out a chainsaw and cut the tree down  - like any completely rational person would; it’s usually sometime between large gusts of pollen flying through the air in August, to the final pollen drops in September. The crazy woman in me can think of nothing better than dropping that pollen-dropping tree to the ground and sawing it into a million pieces. And then The Farmer reminds me that in order to improve my hay fever I’m going to have to get out and cover 20000 acres and remove all the other pine trees as well. It’s a lose-lose situation. Also (in related news), Cyprus Pine is too fast burning to be decent fire wood anyway…

 

My Kryptonite!

 

Thankfully I know I’m not alone. Mr B next door suffers hay fever too. Harvesting wheat in a Cyprus Pine environment isn’t his cup of tea either for a few weeks each year.

So whilst there may not be any new shoots on our winter-stripped trees at the moment, I know that they aren’t far away at all. The Cyprus Pines never lie, and I find that I’m already looking forward to October. Bring on the end of all the pollen.

 

Surviving The EKKA With Kids - Part 2

Tips for surviving the EKKA with kids

I actually made it to the EKKA again this year, which was only possible with the help of my mother. Once I made the decision to actually head to the big smoke for the long weekend, I tried my hardest to convince The Farmer to join me. You know how it goes… farm will go into melt down if he leaves for a few days, such a long way etc. Once my mother decided to accompany me and the children we were ready to go!

Having made it through the day – barely – here are my tips for surviving the EKKA with young children.

1.      Start early. Avoid the huge crowds and make it onto rides with little to no fuss before lunch. The same rule applies for the showbag pavilion. Which leads me to point number 2.

The kids and I on a ride together. Sam and Darcy didn't love it as much as Olivia and I did! ;)

2.      Get yourself a locker (and if you have more than two children and plan on getting show bags) get yourself two lockers. You can ditch all your gear until you need it and then you are freed up for most of the day. We left showbags and cold weather gear (like jackets) in ours, but other people left baby gear in there as well.

3.      Make sure you grab yourself those police ID tags for your kids. Crowds are crazy at the EKKA. Good crazy.

4.      Pack as much food and drink as you can, without taking away from the EKKA experience. You will still need to score yourself some show food (whether it be a Dagwood Dog, strawberry sundae, or some Queensland fresh produce) to complete your family day out. My kids were like bottomless pits however, so some nibblies and water were particularly handy.

Mum and I sampling the amazing and iconic Strawberry Sundaes!

5.      It can get pretty warm in the middle of the day. Pack sunscreen, hats and extra water! And remember to use them.

6.      Get to shows early. We arrived at the Racing Pigs display about an hour early. It gave us a base for lunch (in the shade), and we managed to score great seats for the show – which packs out at least half an hour early.

 

The kiddies and I waiting for the Racing Pigs show to begin.

Having said all of that, my kids were completely exhausted by 4pm, and we made an early departure. So my final tip for the day (which completely goes against my number one tip) is:

 

7.      Pace yourself. We peaked too early. Start with displays, walk around, visit pavilions, and shows (whatever floats your boat), and the rides and showbags will still be there later. I’m thinking if we’d arrived at about lunch, we could still have seen everything we wanted to see, and then we could have stayed to see the night show and fireworks display.

In any event, we came, we saw, we conquered. My plan for next time is to make it to the fireworks. We all had a ball and I didn’t manage to lose any children in the progress. I’d call that a win!

The EKKA - Part 1

Show Season

Not many people know this, but once upon a time (many, many moons ago) I was the 1997 Charity Queen at the show where I grew up. What this meant at the time (aside from receiving a sash and having to participate in the parade through town) was a very cool holiday prize that I was able to share with some friends at the coast.

Now all these years later, the show season means something entirely different to me.

As a teenager I always loved the EKKA for the rides and show bags. I visited the EKKA with my school and also with my family. As a bona fide ‘coastie’ I didn’t even realise that the EKKA had an animal contingent; or perhaps I did, but it held little interest for me at that time.

The Farmer and I went to the EKKA once when we were dating and he introduced me to the livestock sections, sheep and cattle dog displays and wood chop. I also paid my first visit to the Cattleman’s Bar and Jubilee Pub that evening. So did everyone else from rural Queensland as well I think; or so it seemed.

We have taken our children to the EKKA only once. It was a hazy mishmash of toddler-friendly rides, even more show bags and lots of animals. We managed not to lose any kids (WIN!) but now that the children are all a little older, there’s a good chance we will be heading back again soon.

Back at home, we have a close involvement with our local show. Some years ago, The Farmer and I got involved with the local Show Society. Somehow we snagged the Rodeo section, which was a steep learning curve but also my first foray into serious country business. I didn’t even know how to pronounce RODEO properly at that point. Later The Farmer became Vice President of the show, and then eventually President for a few years. For all of the work behind the scenes, it’s been a great way to get involved in the community.

And now the EKKA is just around the corner again. I have taken my flu injection this year and I am ready to face the crowds and cooler weather so that I might be able to enjoy a strawberry sundae, the Ferris Wheel, the sheep dog trials and the evening show in the arena.

Hopefully I see you there!

Kangaroos

Kangaroos

If you live anywhere in the world other than the "bush", you probably think kangaroos are these incredible, gorgeous, soft, cute, hopping animals. (And they are!) You probably want one as a pet. If you would give your left arm for a kangaroo as a pet, it's probably not a good idea to read on. Consider that a warning.

When I first moved ‘out here’ I was amazed every single time I saw a Kangaroo. "Oh look! It's hopping!" And "Awwww! It has a joey in its pouch!" And they are truly remarkable animals. There is something very interesting about them. And they are incredibly cute. I suppose even all these years later, I still am amazed that I live in a part of the world where I see so many amazing creatures on a daily basis.

But let me give you the facts as I know them about kangaroos:

1. Kangaroos are missiles on two legs, programmed to hit your car in the most expensive place to repair. This is a fact. You'd think after years and years of evolution they would have sussed out that the black strip of road connecting civilisations is a no-go zone. But no. Day after day these furry missiles continue to hurtle themselves obliviously towards moving vehicles. The first time you ever hit a kangaroo, you'll feel very bad about it and maybe even cry. But rest assured, the next time you hit one you'll be angry about it.

2. Kangaroos eat the feed intended for other livestock, and plants in your garden. In fact they eat pretty much everything they shouldn't be eating. And if anyone reading this has heard fantastic stories about "the near extinction of kangaroos", then they surely haven't taken a drive past our sorghum crops, or the burgeoning wheat crops of our neighbours. No problem with kangaroo numbers out here. And these kangaroos don't have a problem breeding either. It's not uncommon to see a kangaroo with a tiny joey suckling at the teat, and a bigger joey in the pouch, and an even bigger joey, independently hopping beside its mother.

3. The smell of a three day kangaroo carcass on the side of the road is something you won't forget in a hurry. Enough said.

4. Kangaroos make great working dog meat.

5. They really are beautiful and incredible creatures. Watching them drink at a waterhole, or bound effortlessly over fences, drains and tall grass is mind boggling. Seeing a joey chasing its mother and wobbling as it hops still makes me smile, and furthermore, it reminds me of what a wonderful part of Australia I really live in. And how lucky I am to live here.

If you haven't been to this part of the world yet, then pack your bags, and come and have a look. But remember to drive carefully. Our road hazards are often of the furry and moving variety.

The Inca Trail - A Bucket List Adventure

Day 1

We met the last three people who would be joining us on our hike (we travelled with Intrepid - who I would highly recommend to people of all ages), and made our way from Ollantaytambo to Km 82, which marks the official start of the Inca Trail. You are here with many other people all about to start their own adventure.

After posing for your group photo...

Seriously, the best group ever. A truly great group of wonderful people. #intrepidtravel That's me, front and centre.

...you make your way to have your passport stamped and then you cross the bridge over the Urubamba River to start the trail.



Game on. Inca Trail just got real...

After the first hill (which is a bit of a killer), the terrain evens out and you find yourself walking through a really dry, desert like environment. It's hot. Even in the middle of winter. But thankfully for us, it wasn't wet. Expect to see motorbikes and donkeys on the trail on this day. Also expect to see food and drink stalls and plenty of toilets. (And make the most of them, they only get worse).

First stop. Note the stalls behind us.

Uphill moments were pretty terrible, but you tend to stop every hour or two for a break and history lesson, which seems to break up the long days. Victor, our guide, also told us about a 'diagonal walking' technique that took the pressure off knees. It really helped and we continued this every day. Our first official ruins were Llaqtapata and Willqaraqay. Here we learn that much of the 'Inca Trail' isn't in fact the original Inca Trail at all, and that only small parts of the original remain today.

Llaqtapata ruins. Day 1.

We were pleasantly surprised by the lunch set up.

All our meals were eaten in here.

Our first campsite (after walking for 7km) was Wayllapampa. This is the last place you will see donkeys or pack animals on the trail.

Could not believe all the porters were so keen to play soccer at the end of the day!

View from my tent - night one.

Our tents.

Our entire 'PEAK' group. The trekkers and the porters, chefs...etc.

At the end of Day 1 I felt good. Much more relaxed, only the mildest of headaches, and physically fine. Our Intrepid guide had told us to drink at least two litres of water a day to help with altitude, and it was definitely helping.

Day 2

We were up early. Ear plugs are a must - donkey calls will ring out through the valley during the night and they will help you sleep in spite of the incline you will be sleeping on as well. Mornings on the Inca Trail are cold. But rest assured that you will have stripped off only 10 minutes into the day. Our Porters introduced themselves, and it's not an understatement to say that these guys are worth their weight in gold. They are so hard working and just incredible. I have an incredible respect for them.

 We had been told that Day 2 would be the toughest. It was a long day - 8km up and two km down. It was also the highest altitude we would reach on the day. Whoever said that didn't lie. It was tough.

It was a steep uphill start, and then the microclimate changed, and things cooled down in the cloud forest.

Cloud forest - Day 2.

On Day 2 we didn't stop for lunch - our guides had told us that it would only make us feel sick as we climbed higher and higher. We were encouraged to snack instead, and we had a big feed when we reached the campsite. There are still a few stalls on Day 2, so make the most of them and top up your supply for Day 3.



My thighs were burning here!

The uphill was tough. Most people felt it (okay everyone felt it) in their knees or thighs. As the air thinned, we stopped regularly. Don't be surprised if you stop every 10-20m to catch your breath and then head off again. Whatever works!

I saw my first wild llama...

 

 



 Altitude is hard to explain. It affects everyone differently. Mostly I just found that I lost my breath easier, and I was more susceptible to headaches. It was a long hike up hill, and eventually the peak was in sight. Warmi Wanusqa (or Dead Woman's Pass) is 4215m (13829 ft). And you can feel it. When you reach this part of the trail it's hard not to be excited. Adrenaline kicks in (or maybe that was just the shot of rum that we were met with by tour members) and you are ready to continue. This is the highest point you will reach. There is no turning back from here, so I was excited to think that I was actually going to do this!




Metres from the top and still needing to stop and rest.



Jim, Victor (guide), me and Libby all jumping in excitement.



These are my travel buddies! Sarah, me, Leesa and Libby. We made it!

And then it was downhill!!! Kilometres of STEEP stairs. It's about an hour or even more downhill to Pakaymayu, our second campsite.

This is me taking a break.

And the view from our second camp site.

Resting our tired feet.

Day two stats.

 We requested a small dinner after a HUGE late lunch. This night was FREEZING cold (I was good in my warm sleeping bag). We were at this highest campsite for a full moon. It was equal parts eerie and magnificent.

PS. If you hear a story here about a murder or a German woman by her new husband, it's total urban legend. You won't hear about it anywhere else. Good for scaring tourists if nothing else.

Day 3

Another chilly morning. You can see the uphill walk ahead of you right from the get-go. The good news is that you can also see the first ruins where you know you will be stopping. The altitude was still playing havoc with my pulse, so it was more slow going. It's not long before you arrive at the first of several ruins you will see that day. Welcome to Runkuraqay ruins.

A welcome respite from an uphill hike.

Feeling energised, it's a short while later that we made it over the second pass. There is something about making it over a pass that releases more adrenaline. It's a downhill run again until the next (and major) ruins of the day. Sayaqmarka was an original stopping point for people travelling the Inca Trail. It's an extra 100 stairs up to visit it, but well worth the effort.



Sayaqmarka - amazing!

Up in the ruins.

Day 3 is not only the longest day (more than 16km if you consider the walking through all of the ruins) but it's also the most scenic. I could have walked for hours more. Amazing doesn't even come close to describing Day 3. Here are some shots of Day 3 scenery.



Heading to the lunch campsite. Original Inca Trail. (New bridge obvs).

And more trail...



And a tunnel! There are about 3 of them.



Almost at the lunch site.



Still loaded with energy and up in the clouds.



It looks scarier than it actually is.

And then (after lunch) it's down to another set of ruins. This is Phuyupatamarka.

It started to rain, but as we were up in the clouds, it didn't last, and upon our descent, it disappeared entirely. After these ruins it's ALL downhill. The stairs are awful on your knees. We were so close to the third camp that we almost ran down. Here are some top shots from the last run of Day 3.



We found the Urubamba River again!

Intipata Ruins

 

Looking down at the Day 3 campsite from the last ruins of the day.

We fit in one final ruins for Day 3 - Intipata. You can hear trains and can even catch brief glimpses of Aguas Caliente in the afternoon.

'We made it to camp with sunlight to spare. The Day 3 campsite has had flood damage this year and was undergoing repairs, so the campsite was crowded. The toilets were the most revolting I'd ever seen but the company was fantastic. We spent the evening doing the 'thank you' ceremony. This is where speeches are given and we tip everyone and say goodbye to the porters who we won't see from this point onwards. After that we all collapse into bed in anticipation of a 3:00am start.




Day 3 stats!!!

Day 4

Woken at 2:45am we all dress and are wide awake in excitement that today we make it to Machu Picchu, even though we still have over 5km to the Sun Gate (Inti Pinku), and even more to the actual ruins.

The walk is easy. Eventually we make it to the Monkey Stairs (named because you pretty much need your hands and feet to scale the steep staircase). Our guide, Victor, did it in 13 seconds!!



Monkey Stairs

 When you've worked so hard for something, the end result can be quite emotional. I shed a tear or two at the Sun Gate. It was everything I had hoped it would be.


My first view of Machu Picchu - and the windy road off the mountain. And yes, there were tears!



Our amazing group looking down on M.P.



The Four Dirranbandi Inca Girls!!

And then it was all over. Completely surreal and perfect. We were all physically exhausted. The bus trip down the mountain to Aguas Caliente signalled the end of an amazing four days. It was a physical and mental challenge and I am so, so, so glad I attempted it.

If you haven't already done so, read my post on preparation and packing for the Inca Trail here.