FWAW RECAP EPISODE 3 - Cry me a river girls...

Still annoyed that I am up this late to even watch this. Last week my internal clock was thrown for at least two days after staying up to recap, and I was not happy Channel 9, but lo and behold! Channel 9 have answered my silent prayers and offered up a one hour episode as a tribute instead! Whoop-de-freaking-doo!!!

Sam starts by informing us that 'farmers know how to have fun' (presumably by spraying fields, doing cattle work, and checking for eggs with your three girlfriends - as the montage suggests).

Soooo...

Farmers Know How To Have Fun:

Julz -  Having fun means having to leave the farm. And nothing says 'fun' like riding a Segway through grassy fields. Clearly this was the stupid idea of a Producer who has never been on a farm before. One of the girls says she loves adventure and has even been sky diving, but clearly none of that is in the budget... so segways it is.

After the most boring fun day ever. Julz backs it up with a one on one with Alex, as they feed birds together. Yawn. I want my 5 minutes of my life back again.

Still pretty sure that he 'gels' with G.I. Megan, he takes her on a jetty walk whilst the other two girls hurl visual daggers at them while they are gone. I can't help but wonder if life with Megan would be all Von Trapps 2.0. Whistles and marching to keep things in order.

Adam -  He's also taking his girls off farm. And this is pretty much how it rolls on a farm. Unless your idea of fun is fencing and rolling out pipe and mustering. Adam is treating his girlfriends to... wait... what?

COOKING CLASSES?!?!
Jeezus.

What's better than one wifey in the kitchen? THREE wifeys in the kitchen of course! Nothing like finding out who will make the perfect wife, than by setting up a tortellini making session. Hopefully they also show the girls how to put out slippers and light Adam's pipe before he gets home from work as well...

Hayley is freaking out and crying and frankly, I would be too.

The conversation turns to "what love means" and Adam tells the girls that "the more people in your life to love, the better." Presumably he is referring to wanting to keep all three girls in a harem. And they are all lapping it up.

As it turns out, Hayley doesn't just cook, she cleans too. For that, she is rewarded with extra one on one time, while the two other girls just hang outside together... just you know... loitering, I suppose. Adam fesses up about how hard it is to date three girls. Poor Adam. #firstworldproblems

Jedd - After overcoming his painful awkwardness, he's now all about the hugs. He's taken Kerry the photographer on a 'date' and pretty much all she does is take pictures of his dog, Gregory.

Next up he takes the girls to a winery. Some discussion about 'soul mates' and 'having babies'. Really, just a casual discussion between you, your boyfriend, and his other two girlfriends about copulation ending in procreation to make you want to drink faster. Sam manages to con him into some one on one time to discuss this soul mate thing a little more.

Jedd is apparently showing his serious side. Jedd and Sam kiss.

Matt - Nothing says having fun like unloading a cattle truck. (Sounds a bit like Valentine's Day around here). Amelia comments on how she 'loves trucks because she has seen them on the highway. Hmmm. And I can't remember anything else because I'm still stuck on how April is a 'Brand Ambassador'. If you know this girl, please get her in touch with me. I need to know what this is and how I do it! For real!

Matt takes the girls out to a nice spot at the river. I start to wonder if this is like a Darwin's test of 'survival of the fittest' or whatever it is... Maybe he thinks a croc will come and take one of the girls so he doesn't have to be the bad guy and do it himself. Thankfully, there are no crocs, and everyone lives to see another three-way date. It appears that Matt and Gabby already have his and hers "story tattoos" on their chests, so Matt rewards her with some one on one time as a result.

Gabby starts crying almost immediately. In my experience, this IS the best way to make the farmer kiss you. This only works until you are married though, and after that you are 'about to get your period' or 'need to calm the f&^% down.' Whatever. Matt buys it hook, line and sinker, and they KISSSSSS!

Lachie - He's having some fun by getting the girls to glam up for the races. To be fair, if I put myself into the girls shoes, this would be my idea of fun too. Drinking and dressing up. Woohoo! Lachie has brought along all of his mates (not a bad idea given his last foray into dating ended in marriage at first sight)... Lots of discussion about 'chemistry' and 'connections'. We meet 'Cousin Stu' who has put his dibs in already... Jess (from last week's awkward date) isn't feeling the love. But she IS thinking about thinking...

Kelly and Belinda are the clear front runners here and poor Jess is just left to drown her sorrows up in the friend zone. Cousin Stu says to Lachie "You don't rush into things traditionally." Um really? I beg to differ. At this point in time that's EXACTLY what his tombstone would say...

"Here lies Lachie... who rushed into things."

"Married at first sight" anyone? Backed up with another rushed appearance on FWAW... sheesh.

Lance - He's taken the girls to a Rodeo! These girls are all over him. Something has got to give. You can't be this happy with your sister wives for this long without something breaking... There is lots of denim, big hats and big Robert - Lance's friend.

It's Rob's job to teach the girls about opening and closing gates, and there is a big part of me that wants to take the piss out of him pretending that this is such an important job, until I remember how much gates suck, and that this could possibly be the most important thing they'll ever learn on the farm. The short haired lady says she doesn't know what she would do with "something big and wild between her legs" (dodgy reference to bull riding) but we know she is lying. She knows EXACTLY what she would do...

On cue, Lance appears on a horse, and all I can think of is the "Old Spice" guy ("I'm on a horse") and so from this point onwards I shall refer to Lance as Old Spice.

As the girls marvel at the rodeo (read: a few guys roped in to riding bulls for the camera, and not a real rodeo) I remember my first ever rodeo. And it IS actually pretty exciting. Even so, Karen is still about to crack. So help me god, if there are even more tears I may have to write to Channel 9 and tell them to tone it down.

Old Spice - Still speaking in third person... "She was exactly what Lancey was looking for." Ummm, Old Spice, you can leave that narrating your own story out of this thank you. Miss Sammy Mac is doing a fine job on her own. Apparently the third person chit chat is contagious. Karen does it now too. "Time to focus on Karen now."

Lachie (again) - Jess gives Lachie her best "it's not you, it's me" speech. She runs walks away and says her goodbyes and leaves.
#dodgedabullet
#bestisyettocome
#cmon

On the whole, my Farmer was more impressed with the slasher and tractor on the ads than any part of tonight's episode.

NEXT WEEK... (and praise be to the gods that this was only one episode!)

Claws are out, mud baths, and the PG rating becomes M15 with all of that 'heating up' we are led to believe will be something more than a kiss.

Over and out.

PS. If you liked this, please share it with a friend. x

FWAW RECAP EPISODE 2 - A visit to the farm

Did you catch last week's recap? If you missed it you can find it here...

Episode 1 - FWAW Recap

I think we need to start by addressing the fact that this show is actually on too late for most farmers to sit up and watch. Clearly it's a ratings issue, but I'm going to have trouble getting The Farmer to sit up with me and give me all his funny lines when he has a 'sparrow's fart' start tomorrow morning. Channel 9 - listen up already! This is serious. Just as serious as Lachie's quest to find a wife. For real. Honestly... this whole 2 hour episode finishing past 11 o'clock is just crazy talk!!!

*yawn*

OKAY - I have made it to kick off (cold Milo and pillow in hand, because glamorous)!

We open with farmers busy prepping farms, green rolling hills and Sam's lovely voice over.

Have I mentioned how much I love Sam? Truth be told, the farmers probably all want to take her home and marry her and just call quits on this late night television bizzo too... but we'll play along for now...

1. The girls arrive

Matt - (pilot from Pilbara) - His ladies have travelled two hours from an airport presumably in the middle of nowhere to stay in donga accommodation. Don't be fooled. These dongas are the best, assuming they're equipped with air con. One lady says she wants a Macho Man, and I gotta say that any guy who lives on a farm and flies a helicopter is overqualified in the Macho department. Consider your box ticked ladies.

Lachie - ("Dude hay farmer") - Oh look! We are on his farm, nice and manicured in time for all this free advertising on FWAW before he decided to put it on the market. Good to see all girls have arrived in the correct bush uniform (even if this farm is only an hour from Sydney). Collars, checked shirts, jeans and boots. Good stuff ladies. Lachie has the ladies busy on his 'dude ranch' 'hay farm' doing important jobs such as tagging, drenching and baling hay, however we only actually see one of the girls spraying a cow with some yellow stuff. When I asked The Farmer what she was doing, he said 'probably nothing'. There was some mention of 'cattle wrangling', which (after watching the footage) I have decided is tv code for watching girls run haphazardly through the fields randomly chasing cows.

Later Lachie has his girls weeding (by hand) out in the paddock. As you do.

Lance - (Rodeo Cowboy) - As Lance enters a 4 way embrace with three of his sister wives, he laments the fact that Lorraine (last week's face) is missing. We are reminded of Lance saying he is chasing 'gunslingers and whores' (or was that horses?? Honestly, I have heard it about 3 times already tonight and I still can't tell).

Lance shows his ladies how to lasso. Apparently roping skills will serve them well down the track. I wonder if this is what they will need to retrieve him from future buckle bunnies once his 15 minutes of fame follows him into his next Campdraft. Music reminiscent of Jessica Rabbit times plays as all three girls blatantly throw themselves at Lance (who assures the camera that he doesn't want to limit his cuddles to only 1 woman because that's not fair), and the three sister wives think that's fine and normal.

Sam eventually arrives to spare us the PG rating going M15and tells us that Lorraine can't make it to the farm due to 'personal circumstaces'. Lance says this is a bit of a hurdle, but I bet he is a barrel racer from way back and he will jump on over that hurdle into the next lady's arms.

Jedd - (Deep thinker) - He introduces his dog, Greg, to the ladies. So romantic watching your sister wives all pull up to the farm in a car together. It is Shanell who impresses by feeding Greg some doggie snacks she smuggled from the city to the farm.

Rowdy Julz - (no 'e' in Julz this week) - Has his daughter, River, there to help his clean up for the ladies, but we don't see her afterwards, so we can only assume that he doesn't have her off running the farm while he finds a new worker wife. There are so many red cars in this shot. And red goes faster. This is all so very 'Rowdy'. Julz impresses the ladies with his lumberjack skills (because all bearded men must be into cutting timber right?) and then crowd face army girl Megan enters late. Cue steely looks and piercing glances from the other girls.

Adam - (Dairy Farmer and Cutie) - He is excited about seeing yellow hat Hayley, and is disappointed when she wears white suede boots and acts like a bit of a Princess around the mud. I'm wondering where the "I want to be a butcher" girl has gone, and I'm hoping she doesn't wear those boots in the meat house as well. I'm disappointed. I wanted to take her home and marry her myself, and I'm feeling a little duped.

2. First nights on the farm

Julz - steak is on the menu.

Lance - playing with his food and tying to be a clown. No surprises.

Lachie - Obviously doesn't spend a lot of time in the house without his mother, because he has no idea how to work any of the appliances. Obviously looking for a cook. The ladies are all happy to oblige.

Jedd - Cooking seafood for dinner, (because oysters equals romance). Kerry announces that she hates oysters and doesn't like seafood. Ummm... what? Did you read his profile? This should be an instant scratching from the race, but let's all pretend that she actually has a chance for now anyway.

Adam - Hayley is worried. She only packed 83657 pairs of shoes and she thinks Adam can see right through her now. He calls Kelsey into the kitchen to help with dinner, but as she is an air hostess, she's only used to bringing it to the table, and not actually preparing it. This spells disaster Kelsey.

3. Mornings on the farm

Adam - it's 5.30am and he's 'waking up the girls' and giving them half an hour to get ready. He's all smiles and there are jokes about early mornings on the dairy farm. I have news for you girls and it ain't pretty. He's probably been up since about 3am. This is how it will be every day for the rest of your life. Except he won't be smiling as he asks you to get up ten years from now.

The girls emerge looking beautiful, and their instructions are 'let's milk, don't get kicked.' One girl is wearing white, and I'm itching to comment on how inappropriate that is on a dairy farm, but then I remember I wore a white shirt into the Amazon Rainforest after rain. No judging here. We all screw up sister! One girl gets poo all over her face and Adam gently wipes it off, because 'love'. Lots of #sunriseporn and everyone (including me) is impressed with the girls today.

Lots of shots of frolicking with lambs and running wildly and giggling. Because 'farm'.

4. Hanging out on the farm


Lance - I'm starting to wonder what Lance actually does on his farm? They are having a horse shit fight. I'm not even joking. Somehow this is all probably going to end in a 4 way man sandwich. I'm so confused.

Lance is still into his tongue kissing and bum smacks (not even a little bit PC) but Karen isn't feeling the love anymore. She wants to leave her sister wives and go home.

Matt - Has the girls separating the cattle into 'boys and girls'  - because bulls and steers and heifers is all just too technical. I think they are actually putting up a hessian fence, but all I can focus on is how these girls all need to put shirts with collars and sleeves on if they don't want skin cancer. They look totally cute (and Matt gives Amelia a bit of a grope in the yards) but that's going to have to change eventually.

Matt takes Amelia on a horse ride and whilst he struts in a hat, she dons a helmet, and I can't help but think about the song 'Downtown' and how Macklemore sings about how "if I only had one helmet, I'd give it to you, I'd give it to you..." And with that the mood is killed. Matt asks what city life is like and she says "boring, stressful and rushed."

I have nothing but bad news for the poor girl...

She's smart though, and says she's going to use the full ten days to see if this is what she can handle.

Meanwhile the other girls are home FREAKING OUT! Amelia keeps her cards close when she gets home and... hold up... April is a "Brand Ambassador"?! What is that? And how do I do it?

#I LOVETOYOTA

The next day Matt turns up in a helicopter. All 4 girls wet their pants a little bit and he is going to get laid by the end of the series for sure. He emerges from the helicopter with a moustache that would give Bert Reynolds a run for his money, but none of the girls notice it at all. April gets on the 'dolly' (post hole digger). She is totally cute in her Rachael John's book cover heroine get up. And Matt doesn't miss a beat. She could be wearing a burlap sack and still look hot though.

Jedd - Gets his girls to change (in front of him no less) into wetsuits. He watches shamelessly. Of course, on top of liking seafood, they obviously have to pass the swimsuit part of this Miss Universe pageant as well. The ladies all do a great job of it.  Watching me change into a wetsuit would be something more akin to a penguin shedding its skin and using its flippers to do it. The girls reciprocate by watching Jedd as well.

Someone says something about not cutting her boobs on the barnacles and something being 'well hung' and now I understand why this is a 9-11pm time slot.

Adam - He is taking Taryn on a picnic date. Baskets, blankets, wine glasses. Completely original. We might not see another basket or blanket for the entire season.

 I went on a date with a picnic basket and blanket once. Just once. It was nice. Once...

Also... if I hear the word 'chemistry' (and not in a science context) one more time I will be forced to start a drinking game...

Adam and Taryn eat sandwiches planted by the props department (and *shock horror* not made by Adam himself), and jokes about how Taryn can handle his 'hot salami' ensue...

Julz - Julz takes GI Jane (Megan) on a roll in the hay. Literally. More picnic blankets and baskets and wine. *sigh* And GI Jane reflects on how "everything in the country is good except for his love life." Umm... except for droughts, fire, being a single parent, debt, isolation, stress from reality tv obligations etc. as well. GI Jane also called him on how he probably wants a farm hand, and he didn't really deny it...

Whilst they are on the 'best date', the other girls are handling it really well from inside the house. They have made up a voodoo doll and Crazy Amanda is holding out on using it. Kidding. But everyone is going a lot bit nuts over the whole date thing. Because who really wants to share your farmer with three other girls anyway?

When Julz and GI Jane return covered in hay, Amanda retreats to the kitchen with her head spinning in circles and her mouth frothing at the sides.

Lachie - Now freely admitting that being 1 hr from Sydney should technically deem him inappropriate for this program, has taken Belinda out to a rustic car for a spot of romance. Another picnic basket and blanket (OMFG) and Lachie's aviator glasses (so porno they take me back to my high school days of watching a classmate's parents dirty 70s videos at a class party).

Lachie says this is 'not something he normally does' - and I'm wondering what he means? Kissing a stranger on reality tv? Or just going on another reality tv dating show? Oh yeah... and a first kiss.

The next day involves more dude farming. A tractor breaks down and there are lubricant jokes. Ugh. Some guy in production is high fiving another jerk on these sleezy jokes, but it's starting to annoy me. It could also be that I'm super tired by now though.


Adam - While all the other farms are heading to bed, Adam is about to help a cow give birth. It's a 'farm emergency'. Watching a calf born IS amazing... but pay close attention to the words he uses as it all unfolds. He will most certainly use those terms again when his wife is birthing...

5. Last Chance Ladies!

Jedd - takes Shanell out on a date, but as he's a responsible adult in control of a boat, his picnic basket and blanket are covered in soft drink, CHIPS and WATER! How romantic...

Lachie - another picnic date (this time with a thermos in some place that is CLEARLY off farm - obvs after the last show he was on, they used all the best date spots). It's completely awkward and is full of 'umms' and 'soooo's.

Lance - Karen says her heart is not in it and asks to leave, and Lance puts on his sad face and says she has to do what makes her happy. Karen packs and Lance takes this sulky lass on a sulky ride through the countryside. The horse and carriage experience is exactly what she needs and she seems a bit happier. He doesn't have to send anyone home tonight anyway, because Lorraine already bailed on him.

Julz -  Takes Melanie (the red head) out on a date and they 'connect' with 'chemistry'... ugh.

6. D DAY!

Loads of makeup, bag packing, coffee and reflecting on feelings.

Matt - April and Amelia are no brainers. They are here for the long haul. And he chooses farm girl Anna to go, which is a total shocker, because we all thought it would be the girl with the arm tattoos who we didn't see all episode.

Julz -  GI Jane and the red head are his no brainers. Then there's Crazy Amanda and some girl called Alex we didn't see at all. He says "It's time to go... Amanda." And I am all like "what?" Because the Producers obviously didn't get their way with this one. Who even is Alex?? Julz will be happy though, because now he can put his steak knives back out on the bench again...

Lachie -  So worried there is 'no thinking about thinking'. Ummm... okay. He sends home someone called Kate, who I didn't even know was there, and not the girl from the awkward date. Weird.

Jedd - I was hoping so bad he would send home no-seafood-Kerry. But he sends home SHANELL!!! I can't believe it. I thought he was so much more relaxed tonight, but clearly he isn't using his brain properly yet. He does quote from 'The Castle' though and I forgive him a little. #itsthevibe

Adam - We are reminded of how Hayley 'mucked up' (how dare she!) and all the girls beg awkwardly. It's a bit sad. And then Kelsey in the kitchen is gone.

This is crazy good editing Channel 9! I may even stay up late again next week to see what other surprises you have in store for me.

Slow guitar music plays and there are tears, mentions of fairytale endings , and maybe even a few bullets dodged. Who knows?

NEXT WEEK!

More weekend fun and romance! And of course... the farm stays heat up...

FWAW RECAP EPISODE 1 - Meet the Farmers

Episode 1: Farmer Lachie and 5 Other Guys Try to Find a Wife…

*Photo credit - Channel 9 webpages

The first episode opens with lots of meaningful big-hatted silhouettes against bright orange sunsets, and some of the most Australian accents you will find on free to air television.

Farmer ‘Lachie’ (formally Lachlan of ‘Married At First Sight’ fame) has been given more starts than Pharlap, and if he can’t get a wife after this, then who can? Really?

Sam McClymont graces our screen as our lovely host.

So much cuter in jeans and boots! x

Two things.

1.      Yay for having a host who ‘gets’ the 'country'. Or at least sings like she understands.

2.      And whoop-de-doo praise be to Uluru that we have gone back to the Original FWAW format! I wasn’t sure I could endure another season of girls grinding up against stripper poles and plying themselves with alcohol in the bid to bag a guy. That was not what finding a Farmer was about at all… that’s what Saturday nights at the Down Under Bar in Brisbane 20 years ago were for… I digress.

We meet our farmers.

First up is ‘Red Hot Cattle Musterer Matt’ (aka Helicopter Hottie Matt). Matt hails from 1500km away from Perth. At 25 he is the youngest farmer this year. Matt has a ripped body that comes from boxing and wrestling in his hangar. But let’s face it, looks aren’t everything… having a chopper pilot’s licence is basically a licence to date chicks. Except that there are none 1500km from Perth. Apparently. So he’s chasing his ‘special someone’. Matt has the biggest smile ever. Chicks are gonna go wild over that I’m sure.

Next up is ‘True Country Kid Adam’ (aka Cutie Adam). Adam is also 25, from a dairy farm in Gippsland, Vic. and spontaneously bursts into fits of nervous giggles. His place is so green you’ll need shades to view it properly through your tv screens.

More silhouettes and guitar solos…

Single Dad Julez (with a Z) is from Tumby in SA. There’s lots of throwing around the word ‘ROWDY’. He has a 7 year old daughter, River, and straight up calls out his lack of romance as being what is letting him down. Seriously. An unromantic farmer. Mind. Blown.

Cowboy Lance is up next, and woah!!! What the what?! He loves hands on moments, cuddles and kisses and totally reminds us that ‘touchy feely’ is not dead in the bush after all. He’s from Rockhampton QLD (my old stomping ground) and he’s all big hats and buckles. He wants love so badly, but I can’t help but wonder if his dreams of jeans and a collar in the day and a nice dress at night (presumably as she cooks him dinner after a long day in the kitchen) are setting feminism back a few years…

Sensitive Soul Jedd (aka the most nervous man in Australia) is from Coffin Bay SA. He’s an oyster farmer, and I can’t help but wonder that if he could actually bag a nice girl, he should have no problem in the romance department. Nothing but oysters as far as the eye can see… Jedd is 37, is a bit "Mark Darcy" from Bridget Jones, and looks like he is always about to wet himself. Poor thing.

Farmer Lachie (so much more laid back now that he doesn’t actually have to marry any of these girls today) is from Camden NSW. We are told repeatedly that this is his second chance, and there are loads of downward glances and shots of him patting the pocket pup sitting beside him. He calls himself ‘desperate’. Also - and let's address the big elephant in the room - there's that whole 'thing' about him selling his farm and not even being a farmer anymore. Semantics. This is tv. I mean, what could go wrong?

Sam reminds us of the process: 8 ladies have been hand selected by each of the Bachelors Farmers based on their online applications. So 48 gorgeous girls all arrive in a bus. Each Farmer can only keep 4. We are reminded of the success rate of this show. So many marriages, babies, relationships etc… *waves to Clare and Scott*.

These Farmers are all looking for ‘true modern romance’ and nothing says romance like a 5 minute speed date. Except for maybe 'swiping left'… ugh. The speed dates are a mish-mash of awkward gifts and conversations, with one girl even exclaiming she wants a good mate she can shag. Noice!

Jedd is literally crapping himself. Some of his pearlers were “are your family just family?” And “what are your goals?” Poor muffin. Cue clown music. Can’t see a clear winner in any of his girls, but to be fair, it’s hard to see past his nerves.

Matt (helicopter hottie) is breezing it in. My picks for him are are Amelia the Law Student (love music playing is a dead giveaway). Her smile is as big as his and I can’t help but wonder if they had kids how cute their smiles would be.

Julez is the third of our #bushbachies. He is being laden with stubbie coolers, calls of ‘c’mon’ and he seems impressed until Megan (cue love music) dazzles him with her knowledge of weaponry as a result of her experience as a soldier. For the win!

Adam the dairy farmer is instantly smitten with Hayley in the yellow hat. She is gorgeous and speaks Farmish. She speaks of how she should be feeding her dad's dogs while he is away, and how she can’t wait to do a full butchery course in Tasmania. What the actual hell? This girl is Farmer’s Wife gold, and I want to take her home and marry her myself.

Lachie is being laden with a shoulder massage that requires saxophone music in the background. Because romance!

Cowboy Lance wants to hold everyone’s hands. This creeps me out but NONE of his women seem to mind. It’s the most bizarre thing. He says it’s the ‘humble’ thing to do, but yikes. My Farmer Charlie says it’s probably a long history and experience with Buckle Bunnies that’s given him his confidence.

So many hay bales… yawn. I much prefer it when they get the girls back to the farm.

I’ve been thinking about how my 5 minutes with Farmer Charlie would have sounded on a speed date.

Charlie: “Can you see yourself living on a farm?”

Me: “Ummm. No. Not in this life. Or any other life.”

*crickets*

Cowboy Lance is on fire. “How would you go running the farm for 4 days while I was away at a Campdraft?” “How would you go pulling a calf?” And “Can you cook?” Bloody hell…

Lorraine loves it though and love music plays. She cries. Oh god Lorraine. I would too.

More dates… love music and getting to know you chit-chat.

SELECTION TIME…

Country Cutie Adam chooses 3 girls I don’t even remember seeing, and Hayley with the yellow hat. No surprises. One girl announces that she has her gum boots ready and I hope that wherever she’s going is wet enough to warrant using them. On the other hand, gum boots are certainly more practical than an i-device, given the internet in rural areas of Australia!

Rowdy Julez chooses three girls I don’t recognise,  and another girl, Amanda, who seems crazy enough  to make this good viewing!

Helicopter Hottie Matt chooses a girl in a red dress who was sweet called April and a bunch of other non-descript girls. Something I have learned about this show in the past though, is that the Producers have picked who they want the Farmers to choose, but sometimes they will choose someone else anyway. *Another wave to Clare and Scott*.

Deep thinker Jedd is so overwhelmed and chooses … wait. INTERRUPTION! One girl in black has just realised she doesn’t really like the competitive nature of REALITY TV and pulls out… SHOCK HORROR! Anyway… he chooses a bunch of girls who all have an equal chance of winning ending up with a Farmer. Everyone is happy.

Lachie chooses everyone except for a girl called Amalia who dreamed of sleepovers with Lachie and stares daggers at the chosen girls, and smiles through her gritted teeth.

Lance wants to take them all home. Ultimately he chooses 4 women with equal chances. It’s going to be a wild week in Rocky!

NEXT WEEK…

Cow poo, girls nearly getting naked, mud and big hats… bring on the farms!

---

Wife Swap

Yesterday, in an email from our local ICPA, this came to my attention:


https://wifeswap.castasugar.com/users/new

And in case you didn't click on the link, it's not going to take you to a page for 'swingers'... It's actually a link to an application page for the television show 'wife swap'.

You may have seen the American version on television before. Two very different families in two very different locations. The wives 'swap' for a week. At first they must abide by the 'new' family's rules. After a few days, the wife can implement 'new' rules, and the new family has to abide by them.

 I think I want to apply. And not just because I am a reality tv junkie.

This isn't me. Even if it's how CP thinks I see myself...

Here's what the Producers of 'Wife Swap' have to say:

"A new Australian TV series for the Lifestyle Channel is looking for families who live in rural and remote locations to take part in a fun social experiment.

"Wife Swap" is based on a British format of the same name but this series will have a uniquely Australian flavour. The producers are looking for families from all walks of life who have a good sense of humour, love their families and are up for new experiences.

In the show, two families "swap" their wife/mother for one week during which time the "new wife" experiences the life of her new family before making suggestions/new rules about the day-to-day running of the household and family could be improved. It is important that participants feel that they could have something positive to contribute to another family, whilst also being open to learning from the other family.

Since the producers are looking to represent a range of lifestyles and values, they would like to feature an Australian family who live in a rural or remote location. It would provide the audience with a unique insight into both the advantages and challenges of living in rural Australia (juggling work, parenting, hometutoring, house/farm duties), especially when seen through the eyes of the "new wife".

It's a side of Australian life that is not often seen on television and an opportunity to make Australian television more inclusive and diverse. For the families who take part, it will be both an adventure and a learning experience.

There will also be a fee paid to families for participating. "

And here's what the ICPA has to say:

"Calling all ICPA Families,

Federal Council has received a request from the Lifestyle Channel asking if any of our members would be interested in participating in a new TV series - "Wife Swap".  Well, some husbands I know would say "It must be my lucky day!"

Now, before you delete this email please take the time to read it  and consider the implications it could have for our organisation.  Federal Council believe it could be a great opportunity to give insight into what a Home Tutor's duties entail and this could be seen as a help in our lobby cause."

Here's what hubby had to say:

"No."

Here's what I have to say:

"CP - did you not get the memo about the bit where a 'fee' is paid to participating families??? And did you not read the bit about bringing awareness to the plight of rural and remote families? I'm all for it."

 Admittedly, I don't home school here. But I feel for families who do. When we had the flooding earlier this year, I was stuck at home for two weeks with my eldest (in year 1). I'm a trained teacher, so I should have no problem with this. Except that I also have two younger children at home. And... HOW THE HECK DO PEOPLE DO IT !!??? It was such a difficult two weeks. I found it easier to invite the neighbour's children over and run our house like a 'school', with official lunch breaks etc. But to do that with your own children is SO HARD! I take my hat off to all you mums who managed that!

I think that if I was to apply, I would bring awareness to the concepts of distance, and lack of child care. I would raise awareness of how hard it is to be a working Mum, a farmer's wife and a cleaner, friend, cook and then find time for yourself on top of all that!

So the verdict on how this rests at our place for now...

1. CP wants to know what the fee is.

2. I am going to apply. I'll keep you posted. Even though my chances of being selected are slim to none. You've got to be in it to win it. Even if I am petrified that they'll make me out to be the crazy extremist. 

Also not me, but also how CP probably thinks I see myself...

3. The real winner on the day is reality television.

If this all appeals to you. Here are the contact details:

For more information, interested parents can call the toll free office number on 1300 885 165 or email Gemma.Gibbs@shineaustralia.com.
Alternatively, they can apply directly at https://wifeswap.castasugar.com
(where you can also find more information about the show).

Applications close August 12, 2011.

Watch this space!