Episode 6 – Hot Dates and Alliteration are Alive and Well
Sam opens tonight’s penultimate episode with discussion about ‘our boys’, and a reminder of how the real prize here is true love, and not (actually) sponsorship, brand ambassadorial-ship, infamy etc.
The Most Romantic Day Yet
His girls are both in PJs, and Taryn still looks better than me on a good day. Oh to be young again. Taryn says she’s hoping to hold hands with Adam soon. And as I’ve just learned what “Netflix and chill” ACTUALLY means, I’m wondering if “holding hands” is also code for something more sinister.
Dashing Dairy Farmer Adam (FFS with the alliteration already)is taking Taryn on the shag fest to a hot spring nearby. He says he’s never been before, and that doesn’t surprise me. What WOULD surprise me is if he was a regular there. There is the WORST POSSIBLE AWKWARD MOMENT EVER as Taryn goes in for a sexy spa kiss, and is rejected by Adam. She is gutted and embarrassed, and even asks him ‘when is a good time to kiss?’ (Eeeek). He says he doesn’t kiss on the first date. Awwww. Danger music plays and Adam adds cold water to the spa. Ouch.
After Taryn’s rejection, it is obvious that something needs to be done to rectify this. They drink bucket loads of wine, Taryn invites Adam back to her Villa, and they PASH… Taryn announces there was a ‘happy ending’. Noice.
Apparently he’s “shaken” after his altercation with Kelly. (And as an aside, Kelly is NOWHERE near as cranky at Lachie as the rest of Australia was after last week, which makes you wonder about the dodgy editing on this show. Mountain out of a mole hill anyone? I mean if that had been me last week, I would have reacted swiftly and violently… so maybe it was all a bang up after all?) I digress. Apparently she’s opened “old wounds” for him. Whatevs. He now has some clarity however, and as a result, cancels the remainder of his farm stay by booting BOTH girls from the farm. Wait, what??
Lancey-boy (his words, not mine) is off to Great Keppel with Lisa, and I am so jealous of them both. That island is AMAZEBALLS. Lance is wearing the biggest hat ever on the boat over, and I’m wondering if I’d had the brains to wear a hat that big on the boat over, I could have saved myself a load of sunburn last time I went)… Susie is back home shovelling sheep s#!* (as you do… said no one ever). She is wondering if they are drinking cocktails over there…. YES… they are Susie. They definitely are…. Lance has probably had more than Lisa though, as he’s started speaking about himself in third person again. “Lancey-boy is not a paddle boarder.”
Susie is home going cray-cray. Talking to cockatoos and playing air guitar with a shovel.
Lancey-boy thanks Lisa for “coming on the show” (because this is all about tv, and not love right?). They do a lovely sunset cruise dating thing. Lance announces he is above ‘cloud 9’. Meanwhile, Susie laments the death of the sister-wives club. The writers outdo themselves with alliteration by making poor Sam spit out that “the sun has set on the smitten sweethearts”. Groan.
Helicopter Hottie (and I SWEAR I am so happy this is all over next week, as the alliteration is really starting to do my head in), Matt, is taking April on the BIG date. It feels like it’s the sympathy vote. You know… I have this great connection with Gabby, but I’d better give you some time too”. Maybe I’m wrong, but I bet I’m not. There’s loads of kissing in some gorgeous hidden waterhole though, so Matt is getting his money’s worth out of this date.
Gabby is back home proving she can do hard work even without Matt, but I am thinking that if that was me, I’d be fixing to “watch Netflix and chill”… amiright? Hahaha There is lots of hand holding on separate swags under the stars.
Still looking for a spark, which is a bit like finding a needle in a haystack apparently. Surprisingly, he takes Alex on the big date to a cute beach location, but they have as much chemistry as me and Maths A do. Melanie surely has this in the bag. Poor Alex.
No shock that he takes Sam on the hot date. They go to a Luxury Eco Lodge and get a massage. But wait… Jedd’s DOG is there too. Ummm I’m not really sure why Kerry who is still at home couldn’t be trusted to feed the dog? All that aside, they try to ‘get in the mood’. This means donning white robes, and sipping on sparkly wine. Because nothing says “we are so going to shag” than donning a white robe in a room you didn’t have to pay for. Sam gives Jedd the LURVE talk (you know… connections and electricity…etc.”) They kiss.
Jedd later says they shared a “vulnerable experience in front of the fire”, and as if that wasn’t enough, he follows it up with “Pandoras box opened, and he embraced the box.” I couldn’t make this shit up!
The Morning After The Night Before
April is so touchy feely (arm strokes and fingers entwining) and there is still a lot of kissing. April announces about Matt that “150% this dude is the one.” hey discuss goals, ambitions, world peace and global fiscal policy (kidding). April talks about 1, 2, 3 kids. They reflect on their ‘unspoken bond’ (ie: Matt’s erection in the water hole presumably), and April cries happy tears.
After his date, Matt is wrestling with his feelings. He invited Gabby on a dinner, where they are waited on (presumably) one of Matt’s workmates, who has gone all out in one of his blue RB Sellars work shirts. He lurks suspiciously in the background as Gabby asks the tough questions. She cried a little and Matt tells her (nicely) not to.
After the big hot island date, Lance and Lisa meet a frosty Susie at home. Completely oblivious to her pain, they don’t spare her any details, and annoy her with the facts. Lance stops short of asking her if she got all that s#!* shovelled while they were gone.
Adam and Taryn start telling Hayley all about their hot date, and suspecting she might actually throw hot coffee on them for the effort, they back off a bit. Adam decides to take Hayley the ‘graphic designer/wannabe butcher’ on another date. Taryn relishes telling Hayley about the “HOT baths.”
Adam is clearly looking to pash Hayley on this date as well to even the score. He doesn’t really strike me as that kind of guy, but they are drinking whiskey, so who knows.
Taryn is at home eating three buckets of ice cream to drown her sorrows…
Once home again, the spark between Julz and Mel is clear. He invites Mel on another date and even though Alex tries to throw her off by insisting that anything they do tonight will have nothing on what she has just had with him, Julz and Mel have the best date of the night.
There are sparks flying everywhere, hands being held and love confessions abound. I will be totally gutted if they don’t end up together.
Now that he has had his much needed time to think (ugh), he heads 900km away to find Belinda and give her some token flowers and discuss love. She seems smitten. Hope she is protecting her heart. X
Jedd takes Kerry out for a coffee and they mostly discuss Sam. He says he doesn’t know who he will choose, but the producers and editors are gearing this to look like it could be Sam.
Yay for the season finale! The boys are heading to the city to pick their girls, and then we are back to the Hunter Valley to see who
won found love, and who is a tragic loser needs to go on another
reality tv show to try again.
Stay tuned! Please share this with a friend if you enjoyed this! x