Kangaroos

Kangaroos

If you live anywhere in the world other than the "bush", you probably think kangaroos are these incredible, gorgeous, soft, cute, hopping animals. (And they are!) You probably want one as a pet. If you would give your left arm for a kangaroo as a pet, it's probably not a good idea to read on. Consider that a warning.

When I first moved ‘out here’ I was amazed every single time I saw a Kangaroo. "Oh look! It's hopping!" And "Awwww! It has a joey in its pouch!" And they are truly remarkable animals. There is something very interesting about them. And they are incredibly cute. I suppose even all these years later, I still am amazed that I live in a part of the world where I see so many amazing creatures on a daily basis.

But let me give you the facts as I know them about kangaroos:

1. Kangaroos are missiles on two legs, programmed to hit your car in the most expensive place to repair. This is a fact. You'd think after years and years of evolution they would have sussed out that the black strip of road connecting civilisations is a no-go zone. But no. Day after day these furry missiles continue to hurtle themselves obliviously towards moving vehicles. The first time you ever hit a kangaroo, you'll feel very bad about it and maybe even cry. But rest assured, the next time you hit one you'll be angry about it.

2. Kangaroos eat the feed intended for other livestock, and plants in your garden. In fact they eat pretty much everything they shouldn't be eating. And if anyone reading this has heard fantastic stories about "the near extinction of kangaroos", then they surely haven't taken a drive past our sorghum crops, or the burgeoning wheat crops of our neighbours. No problem with kangaroo numbers out here. And these kangaroos don't have a problem breeding either. It's not uncommon to see a kangaroo with a tiny joey suckling at the teat, and a bigger joey in the pouch, and an even bigger joey, independently hopping beside its mother.

3. The smell of a three day kangaroo carcass on the side of the road is something you won't forget in a hurry. Enough said.

4. Kangaroos make great working dog meat.

5. They really are beautiful and incredible creatures. Watching them drink at a waterhole, or bound effortlessly over fences, drains and tall grass is mind boggling. Seeing a joey chasing its mother and wobbling as it hops still makes me smile, and furthermore, it reminds me of what a wonderful part of Australia I really live in. And how lucky I am to live here.

If you haven't been to this part of the world yet, then pack your bags, and come and have a look. But remember to drive carefully. Our road hazards are often of the furry and moving variety.

Driving Home From Book Club This Week: A True Story Of Jess And A Pig

There are so many posts I want to do on Book Club. It is one of my favourite things to do. We meet once a month to discus a book. At least that's what it is in theory...

We are a group of between 10 and 15 women who live and work locally. We are a mixed bag, aged between 23 and over 40. We are married, engaged, dating and single. We are mum's and we aren't mums. We are all shapes and sizes and backgrounds. We have different beliefs. Some of us work together. Some had never met before we joined book club. And when we get together, it is just pure, unadulterated fun. We laugh till our stomachs hurt, and cry with joy. We eat till we are full, and make the most of a night off.

I love it!

But this blog is only going to be about the drive to and from book club this week. I'll do the rest another day.

Leesa (my neighbour) and I alternate driving the 80km round trip. The evening begins at 5pm. I have usually spent the entire week psyching myself up for the garlic prawns and sticky date pudding. They are divine. Leesa and I fly out of the house at 5 on the nose. My house is usually clean, kids are bathed and fed and all CP has to do is tidy up after the meal and hold the kids back as I make my break for the car. The second I am in the car it's like I can taste the freedom. Once Leesa and I are both in the car, it's a full 1/2 hour of uninterrupted conversation. We can talk about kids and husbands and work or whatever. But we can finish whole conversations without children interrupting or shouting around us.

The drives to book club are mostly uneventful. At certain times of year you are driving directly into the western sun, dragging the trip in by an extra 5 or 10 minutes. And now, in the loveliness that is Spring, it is just a relaxing drive.

The drive home is another thing entirely. This is where we carry out all the "C" rated conversations that couldn't be discussed at book club. C for "car rated". Nothing you want to share with a group of women in a busy food and bar area. And that's a big call. We discuss some pretty funny stuff at book club - and it's not for me to release anyone's secrets here - but we all have some things we like to keep sacred.

The drive home is always dark. Regardless of the time of year. It's always a slower drive, than the drive in. Aside from the darkness, you also have to be careful of kangaroos, wallabies, and whatever other animals happen upon the road. One night we must have slowed down for no fewer than 100 kangaroos or wallabies. We spent more time in second and third gear that night than we ever have before! Mostly, it's just an opportunity to debrief before we launch back into the reality that is being a Mum.

This week the drive was a little different. About 30km into the drive home, we hit a kangaroo. If you haven't been reading these blogs from the beginning, check out my blog on kangaroos to see my thoughts on this. When I hit the kangaroo, I was just relieved that the car sustained no damage. Leesa and I were discussing this when out of nowhere, a pig hurtled itself full speed in front of my car. There was no time for any reaction other than to slow and hope for the best. The pig was large enough that I imagined that the panel damage would be huge.  Pigs are seriously filthy creatures. They are aggressive, disease ridden beasts. Germans dig their meat. Australian's could care less. And I apologise to anyone who really doesn't understand this at all. The poor creature would have died on impact (it went under two wheels), and we drove on sort of in shock at what had just happened. I was relieved it wasn't a sheep, as hubby would not have been happy at me hitting the stock. But only a few kilometers down the road we had finally decided to go and photograph the roadkill. Here is the photo. It's me looking cheesy after a night out with the girls, heels and all, pretending to be stoked about the dead pig. I think it was nervous laughter.

So why did we decide to photograph it?

1. Leesa has 2 sons, aged 9 and 11 who were going to LOVE this story, and we wanted the photographic evidence to prove it actually happened.

2. Our hubby's might have been kind of impressed too... especially if we embellished the story a little. 

3. We had only just been discussing (at book club) how we had never really been "pigg'n" before, and how it just wasn't 'our bag'. This whole event kind of mocked that, and we wanted the memory photographed. 

4. It had been a long night, and we were feeling silly.

5. We thought that we might be able to send this pic into the "Boars and Babes" magazine. And I am joking about that. They wouldn't publish it even if we did, (which we wouldn't) because I am not wearing a bikini and brandishing a gun. 'Boars and Babes' is a quality magazine you only find in small towns like ours. And you don't buy it for the articles. 

Actually, it's not even really pigg'n. Pigg'n technically involves massive, scary dogs and guns. We had neither. But we did have a dead pig. And I was just pleased that the car wasn't in the same condition as the pig. 

But boy did we laugh about it. Book club could not have been a more interesting night. And one of Leesa's sons was thoroughly impressed. The other one was disappointed I wasn't wearing a bikini, so that it could be more authentic... hmmmm. CP was happy the car was okay.

And now I never have to go 'pigg'n' again. Been there and done that, and now I've bought the t-shirt. 

By the way, this is how CP thinks a pigg'n photo should really look... OK, maybe he doesn't, but it's exactly how I think it should look! And CP looks cute in this pic...  

But I digress. This post is about the drive home from book club. And even without pigs and kangaroos and darkness, it is the quality time I can spend with a friend that is the most important thing. 

And CP still looks cute in this pic...